I leaned on the shoulder of the wheat field and laughed softly, and there was a very sad feeling in my chest. The wheat field patted me on the shoulder, and I thought she should understand what I was thinking. When we refuse love to happen, love also refuses to come to us, so the ignorant Sun Tingyu can meet it, the cold Yin Sangran can meet it, but I and the wheat field can not meet it. There was a thin layer of ice on the terrace in the middle of the night. I was drinking cold beer in front of the moon. Suddenly, there was a sound of footsteps behind me. Looking back, it was indeed a wheat field. She sat down beside me and drank with me, and for a moment neither of us spoke. Suddenly, the wheat field said: "That year I and Cheng yuan went out to travel together, in a place I don't know what the name is, more than five thousand meters above sea level.". That night I had gone to bed, and he called me up to look at the stars. Where is the star ah, clearly is the Milky Way, the hand can pick the star ah. At that moment, there were only eight words in my mind, 'If you have this moment, you will not waste your life'. It is said that if a piece of paper is folded more than 51 times, its thickness will exceed the distance between the sun and the earth. I feel that over the years, between me and Cheng yuan, there is really a pair of invisible hands folding our destiny, and finally we are farther and farther away. I turned my head and looked at the wheat field quietly. Her face was full of melancholy. Sometimes I really hate my memory, and sometimes I hate human nature. I hate this and that. It's really tiring. I clenched her hand, and some feelings could not be fully expressed in words, but a certain action could convey the message I wanted to express: I really felt it. Maybe everyone will have a moment when they feel that life is not a responsibility that must be fulfilled, and we have the right to deal with its length according to our own wishes. When it was first confirmed that I did have AIDS, I went completely crazy. I bit my teeth hard and tried every means to torture myself,asrs warehouse, trying to wake myself up from the bad news with intense and unbearable pain. I cried all night, soaking myself in the bathtub and scrubbing myself with the rough brush I used to brush my shoes until I had a shocking blood stain. Later, I didn't have the strength to toss about, so I began to think about how to die, and I cried when I thought about it. I listed a lot of ways I could think of to die on a big piece of paper, and the least painful one I thought was drinking to alcohol poisoning.. In those gray days, I believed that only death could make me get rid of this unclean life completely, but I don't know why, although I was desperate, I still felt sorry. I don't know whether I am greedy or I don't have enough to make me unwilling to die. Yes, there are people in the world who want to die every day, but only a very small number of people practice their ideas, and most of them choose to live in vain after surviving the moment when negative emotions are like Mount Tai. Empty wine bottles rolled on the ground and made a clear sound. I looked up at the night and said to the wheat field, "I used to know a boy when I was abroad. We broke up after more than two months, but later we became very good friends.". He is very handsome, heavy duty metal racks ,push back racking system, a quarter of mixed race, the family is also very rich, many girls like him, but he has not been happy. There was a time when I was very busy, busy attending parties, busy falling in love, busy doing some very meaningless things, so slowly cut off contact. Then one day, one of our mutual friends called me and said, 'Twilight, you know, he jumped off a building.'. I remember very clearly that I didn't say anything at that time and pressed the phone directly. It's really hard to believe that such a young life disappeared from the world. I heard that he jumped down listening to heavy metal music. There was only one sentence in his suicide note, 'I didn't die, I just went to the back of the world'.
I can't forget the shock of that sentence. At the lowest point of my life, I sat on the railing of the roof with my eyes closed, trying to understand his feelings at that moment, but I found myself so weak, so afraid of the unknown world.. The wheat field listened to my story quietly, gazed into the distance and said, "Twilight, don't you think it takes more courage to live than to die?" I nodded. Yes, so people who live like wild dogs are actually worthy of admiration. She stood up and patted me on the face. "It's getting late. Go to bed." When I was lying in bed after taking a bath, I saw an unread text message on my mobile phone. It was sent by Sun Tingyu. She said: Twilight, I fell in love with someone. Looking at the concise sentence on my mobile phone, I smiled softly, but deliberately asked her: Who is it? Come to think of it, she also felt that it was hard to say, and even told Lao Niang that it was Xu yuanchuan. Well, you are heartless, I am unjust, I also push the boat along: then you should send this message to Yin Sangran. The phone was quiet for a few minutes, and when I almost thought she was asleep, the text came again: Twilight, I'll come to your room. There were two people crowded on a small bed, and I pretended to be dissatisfied: "Can you persuade the wheat field to give me a discount on the room rate?" She was in no mood to joke with me. Moonlight was coming through the window. Her face looked so sad. "Twilight, you're so smart. You know who it is." Yes, I know. Not only do I know, but everyone who lives in the Rye Hotel these days should know. "I don't know," she said in a low voice. "Without warning … It seems that many people say that they should strive to learn to be happy, but I am different from them. I think happiness should be a very peaceful state, not carefully practiced, not painstakingly groped, it should be there waiting for us, without hoarse hysteria.. If one day you feel that it is very real and down-to-earth, it should be happy. Although I really thought her words were unintelligible, I patiently let her go on. I know that a person of her character will never come straight to the point like Yin Sangran,wire mesh decking, but will use the most circuitous way to express the simplest ideas. Sure enough, after a moment of silence, she finally got to the point. jracking.com